1. |
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lol "words"
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2. |
Pieces, Destroyed
03:43
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I never let go of my youth
I never left that hospital room
Not long ago
I laid, destroyed
In pieces, placed apart
A monument
Of crumbling stone
In fields, so long forgotten
Twenty years of restless sleep
I lie awake each night just trying to breathe
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3. |
Circadian Void
03:54
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Asleep through the seasons
The wind and the soil chain my bones to the earth
And my dreams bring the comfort of home
Lacerations make porous, the fabric
That separates bodies
From dirt, from the rain and the snow
Falling farther behind
As each step slips, it rearranges designs
A new generation, dreaming
Patterns form in the eyes
Displace the shame and ignorance I buried inside
The sound of liberation, screaming
Old lines trace to the river that would have carried away my burdens
Out here in the real, reopen the old wounds
The weight of my sins crushed me
Twisting and turning
The landscape disorients and comforts,
Bereft of intention or reason or hope
The horizon extends to infinite
And merges my soul
To the concrete, the sky, and the void
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4. |
Pay No Mind
02:12
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Head down, smoke screen
Why can't you see?
You pay no mind
Makes me want to
Open your eyes, asleep at the wheel
Can't you taste that smog on your breath?
Sight without vision, trudging through darkness
Can't you feel that fog cloud your head?
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5. |
Damage Story
04:41
|
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A pact of blood and skin between
From youth to distant scenes
Figures integrate in wavering connection
The blood and skin conceal
Disfiguring secrets
These lies are damage stories
The broken pieces forming
A new truth in union
Their hearts are slowly beating
That sweet redeeming feeling
Now short of breath
What modest means reveal
Desperate hearts conceal
Lost consequence
Transgressions swing like hammers
The blood and skin reveal
The fractures underneath
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6. |
Agoraphobia
02:51
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This room is violence breeding
The noise is suffocation
Each word's context is treason
In here I'm barely breathing
Trapped in this broken body
Paranoid and surrounded
My mind creates oppression
Increasing disconnection
The air in here is sickening
The panic building
My body screaming to escape
Relentless
The impulse of violence
Of fight or flight
An unresolved conflict
Paralysis of mental and physical
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7. |
Criminalised Confusion
03:17
|
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Confused
I mark my targets
Broken windows breathing plastic
I sweat at night
The fever fuelling
Thoughts of selfish desperation
Confused
I walk among them
Sleeping dogs in burned out shelters
Their teeth would break
On bones and body
Mine would feast on salt and soil
Mind's not right, it feels right
Can't make sense of hindsight
Nowhere left to go
Down beneath the twilight
Confused
The mourning wakes me
Every step in violation
The guilt recedes
But every heartbeat
Fills my throat with blood and hunger
Confused
Like bleeding children
Damaged without frame of reference
The signs all fade
But the consequences
Rid my thoughts of form and focus now
Living in losing seasons
Paying the price for hubris
Laid out in discordance
Every breath exhaling
Every urge and thought gives way
And lies
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8. |
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With every quiet movement
With every beat, things slip away
The patterns change but the colours stay the same
Bereft of causal guidance
Adrift on oceanic shame
The band keeps playing, the hall is empty
Reverberations of memories
Like prison walls and gates
The music fades but the beat keeps playing on
My body's moving while the rhythm changes
My voice keeps singing while the sound's extinguished
The sound and motion of intentions die
And the deepest passions hide the most dangerous lies
The weeks and days are slippping
The music keeps on skipping
Old melodies, through broken glass, play on
We live in separate places
But we share the same mistakes
Across the miles our song remains the same
Reverberations of memories
Like prison walls and gates
Along the way, they're singing
And though the band keeps playing on
The words get lost between the noise
The meaning's disappearing
Each chord, a memory
Each string that's struck is deafening
I'm crushed beneath the weight
But sound is still escaping
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9. |
Two Betrayals
04:46
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I told you lies
Your trust in me was absolute
What could I do?
I couldn't face what I'd become
I should have walked away but I couldn't die alone
I dragged you down to save myself but it would never be enough
These two betrayals
A crumbling foundation
They'll bury me in concrete
Encased in my mistakes
I should have walked away but I couldn't die alone
I dragged you down to save myself but it would never be enough
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10. |
Monuments Of Guilt
04:12
|
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Streets paved with blood and silver
One thousand miles to go
Church-stadiums mark the landscape
Preaching contempt for the different and broke
There was a brief state of panic
My eyes went wide
I saw the pillars of the landscape
Describe the shame of the times
In the shadows of cathedrals
The bells rang out
To turn the plight of a people
Into a silencing vow
I saw the end
Of reason and doubt
In solemn towers
And pious mouths
Resources spent
In praise of lies
Monuments standing
On those that died
A hierarchy of corruption and hatred
Claims connection to a knowledge divine
Sustained predation on the hungry and helpless
Belies a motive of a terrestrial kind
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11. |
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A cross-eyed disguise
A staggered gait and cheap slacks couldn't hide
Lascivious intent can't abide
The empty space in the wallet
Rent paid with bad cheques
To keep the liquor and food and cheap sex
The source, cause, and the cure still depress
Don't look away, it's useless
My hands remember
The feeling of my veins
Curled up and knotted
Around the paths of my brain
Bad breath
Cigarettes
The smoke drifts in an acrid caress
Pulling tight on the strings and the stress
The puppet danced with the temptress
Crossed lines
Apologise
A routine and a painful reprise
Just keep singing the same old lies
Keep smiling
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12. |
Wind Upon The Waves
05:13
|
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Undecided
Their bones would fail to heal
Their recollection warped by their injury
A language formed of failed revolutions
Describes a peace and consequence derived from years of sleep
And we would be apart for decades
Our time may never come
But we would never cease
The winds would break the waves
The clouds would call the sleep
The time would wash away the thoughts we'd never dare to speak
Ethereal
This timeless ritual
Reconstructs the form of modern truth
They preach the gospel of purchased liberties
And when we go to bed we dream of memories of grief
And we would cross the bridge together
And in defiance of the spirit of the times
Our breath would slip away
In the wind upon the waves
Silent
The winds will speak
The voice of generations in desperate release
These decades spent in quiet grief
Disrupt the rhythm of a dreamless sleep
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13. |
A Feast For Rats
05:45
|
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Consumed
The husk remains
The body
A feast the same
The windows
Would bring the eyes
The meal would
Bring appetites
A pattern
The id's driven feeding
The rats will feed upon the grey
The wolves will feed upon the prey
We'll be together when the cycle starts again
The wicked wings of troubled sleeps will pry the heart away
But in time the hunger and the heat will call it back again
A transgression repeating
A promise unspoken
Two hearts unbroken
Two graves, a body between them
A promise, unable to keep them
A pattern
The id desecrating
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14. |
Years To Come
04:00
|
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With the teeth surrounding the fabric of my bones
Gnawing into the memory of the times I spent alone
Letting go
The guilt would hold my throat from the ground below
Letting go
I'd leave those days behind for the years to come
Peeling skin from scars and sleeves
The old marks recede
Climbing over the tops of the mountains to move the stars from the skies to the seas
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Rebuild/Repair Edmonton, Alberta
2011-22. Nothing of value was lost.
There is nothing to look forward to, nothing to be proud of, and no reason to exist.
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